Getting around and transport in Brussels...

WARNING- this post is not for the fainthearted, some traumatic incidents are detailed and may cause stress in some individuals... 

It is a beautiful spring day again. Really, Brussels is gorgeous in the springtime.  I am constantly amazed by the greenery and blossoms and flowers everywhere. I am grateful that my primary mode of transport is bus and tram as I can enjoy the scenery (rather than being underground in the metro not enjoying the dank smell of stale cigarettes and urine and feeling mildly guilty every time I pass a beggar).   I am sure that spring is beautiful everywhere in the world but the trees and the grass just seem greener than I remember from Brisbane. And maybe I am just more appreciative of the beauty here as it is all still so new. 

But I digress, my intent today is to freak you out with my stories of travelling on public transport with 4 children.  I have previously described the school horror run during our initial few weeks in Brussels, but I omitted a few incidents that gave us all a fright.  

Firstly, public transport is actually very good in Brussels, at least compared to anything we have downunder. Admittedly the 'M' is nowhere near as ubiquitous as what I was used to in Paris - where it is difficult to walk around a corner without encountering another Metro entrance.

But to compensate it has a wide network of trams and buses that cover the city pretty well if you can decipher the map. I don't think I had ever taken the bus when living in Paris which shows how widespread the service is, but here, unless you live very central, you are likely to take buses and metro and trams and the disadvantage is having to change transport in order to get to a destination.  This was particularly problematic during our horror school run as it meant making 3 changes and taking 3 different types of transport to get to school and back.  

Here are a few pointers we have picked up along the way: 

The bus: 

1) Brussels bus drivers (presumably like every where) are crazy. You get the good ones, who wait for you to enter or exit the bus before taking off, and the not so good ones who start closing the doors when you have only half of your brood of 4 chooks off the bus.  We learnt pretty early on, that if you stick part of your body in the door, they will not close and by doing so you can get the rest of the gang off the vehicle, as well as the gazillion jackets and school bags and other paraphenalia that has been carted along.  I am not 100% certain that some bus drivers would not take off with the doors half open though.....

Th tram: 

1) The trams are actually pretty nice, new and clean along the lines we take. They come frequently (every 4 mins or so) and are never late. However, we learnt in one scary incident, that trams have right of way over pedestrian GREEN LIGHT CROSSING SIGNALS.

Yes, see this signal- apparently, this does not mean cross, this means watch out for any trams that may be racing through as they will not stop.  Fortunately in our case, the tram did stop after the kids stepped out to cross on THE GREEN CROSS SIGNAL. Now we make sure to check for errant trams before crossing any road.  (As you can see by the use of CAPS I am still annoyed by this). 

2) On a lighter note, you are allowed up to 1 or 2 bikes aboard the trams, buses and metro.  Below is a fairly common type of bike which completely folds up into a backpack.  This guy is just unfolding his to get ready to bike off the tram.  Apparently only the flemish ride bikes (and all without helmets and with little baskets at the front, sitting straight upright), so I presume this guy is flemish rather than french.

The metro: 

1) I am glad we are no longer taking the metro on a regular basis. It was always a saga getting in to the station.  We had 3 swipe cards, and 5 people. The little two are free. But what this means is that they have to go with another person. And without fail there is a kerfuffle about who gets to swipe the card. They can actually go through the normal gates with one of the big girls, but they are "supposed" to go through the access gate for people with young infants, prams, luggage etc.  

As you can see from the sign, it says 2 people only. Pfft, says I. My little two are less than the equivalent of a single person.  So I press the button and bundle in with both little ones. Once you are inside the central portion you swipe your card and the second door opens to let you through to the station.  So I swipe my card ready to bundle them out the other side. Only to be blocked. Apparently the machine can count. I have exceeded the total people allowed in and I am not allowed through. I am now stuck in the access gate with two toddlers and my big two are on the other side of the gate as they have passed through the normal gates. It momentarily feels like a little glass prison cell. I am a little unsure how to proceed and more than a little worried that I may be stuck there.  fortunately as I turn around, the door of the entry opens and I am allowed back out. Sadly, when I go to try my swipe card through the normal entries, it does not let me pass as it has already been swiped once in this entry place.  Obviously too smart for its own good.  Begrudgingly I have to pay for another ticket in order to let myself and the little two pass through. 

Travelling with 4 kids (and 5 bags and 5 jackets and a few umbrellas): this is such fun (where oh where is my sarcasm font?).  One of the more stressful incidents (apart from almost being run over by a tram and getting stuck in the metro entry) was right at the start of our time here. It was at the end of an exhausting return from school and I managed to get all children off the bus with 4 school bags and all coats. I felt that something was not quite right though..... It only took a split second to realise I had left my handbag (containing my wallet, my keys, my phone, my passport) ON THE BUS. As I have already mentioned, the crazy belgian bus drivers are not ones for just hanging around.  Without even thinking I leapt back on the bus leaving my 4 small children on the footpath, using some special gymnastics/pilates manouevres I positioned one leg in between the bus doors (since we had already learnt previously that inserting body parts in the doors can stop them closing momentarily) and "excusez-moi'd" to grab my bag that was still sitting at the foot of the seat I had occupied (thankfully very close to the door). And I leapt out again. I still feel a sense of horror of what would have happened if the bus had taken off and my children had been left alone in the dark on the footpath watching me disappear. It is the stuff parental nightmares are made of....  Or if I had not realised in time and my handbag was gone with everything in it and being completely stranded with 4 tired kids  (this being of course the day that hubby worked late).   But neither of these things happened, and all that was left was to reassure them that it was ok and to brainstorm about what would have been some potential solutions if the bus had taken off with me in it.  

Lesser anxiety provoking moments have involved a lot of bodily fluids ending up on me during our horror school run... yes I've had it all. And not uttered a word.  I am sure on the whole, the other travellers have been oblivious to the moments I have been peed, pooed and vomited on... Such are the sacrifices of motherhood.   The one time (thankfully only one) that we had a vomiting incident, was with little S who had had a child vomit outside her classroom the day before (maybe this should have warned me but I was calmly oblivious to the upcoming event). She had been miserable the entire trip home with more frequent collapses in tears and squawks on the floor and I ended up carrying her for most of the journey.  It was just 1 stop before the end of the journey when she says she feels sick, and voila - vomit down my lap appears within seconds. The man seated beside me immediately gets up and moves without a word and I somehow think he may be going to do something helpful. Unfortunately no, he is just removing himself from the vomit projectile (which is probably fair enough).  I am left holding my breath and praying that there is no more vomit to come, because what do you do on a packed bus when there is vomiting???? I mean, who cleans it up, does the bus stop?  Luckily we got off at the next stop at which point she promptly vomits down my back. At least I am now symmetrical. There is nothing left to do but to get home and peel off these clothes and chalk this one up to experience.  I am not quite sure what I would have/could have done if the vomiting had started closer to the beginning of our journey rather than the end. Small mercies :). 

So our adventures in public transport continue.  Overall I have been impressed and pleased despite lots of moaning about it from other expats and belgians, I have never had any issues with transport running late or being cancelled or anything else really. As we are a "belle famille" (literally translated beautiful family but meaning big family- don't the french just do things better sometimes?!!) we get half price off our transport which makes it substantially cheaper than the costs of running a car. Plus, given that Belgians are the worst, most aggressive drivers in Europe, I have not started driving yet (more on driving to come...)